Kindness and Individualism

As y'all know, I'm a pretty diehard liberal individualist, an ideology that gets a bad rap in a lot of popular discourse. Liberal individualism often gets equated with bureaucracy, regulations, and strict, impersonal rules -- the enemy of flexibility, humanity, kindness, and "the personal touch."

I've seen some seemingly heartwarming anecdotes about acts of personal kindness, some of which involve contacting the families of people who need help. And absolutely, contacting someone's family can be an act of kindness. If someone wants to contact their family, but can't, for whatever reason, reaching out on their behalf is absolutely an act of kindness. Which is great! We should celebrate that! 

 

But I also want to see other examples of kindness -- examples of respecting confidentiality or individuality framed as kindness, not just as impersonal rules-following. Because respecting individuality is also kind. Respecting privacy is also kind. Respecting autonomy is also kind. 

So I'd like to see some heartwarming viral anecdotes like: 

A customer at a drugstore buys several bottles of over-the-counter medication. The customer's husband, known to the employees, asks how many bottles they've sold his wife. Out of kindness, they decline to answer. 

A visibly neurodivergent person is behaving erratically in a public library. Later, someone claiming to be the person's mother asks the librarian if she's seen this person. Out of kindness, the librarian declines to answer.

 

An elderly patient is hospitalized with a ventilator. The patient's son asks the doctors to remove his mother from the ventilator. Out of kindness, the doctor refuses.

 

A mother calls a university registrar, because she hasn't heard from her son, an enrolled student there. Out of kindness, the registrar refuses to give her any information.

 

A parent asks their daughter's doctor whether she's been prescribed birth control. Out of kindness, the doctor refuses to disclose this.

 

A woman contacts her husband's dentist to ask how much money he's spent on dental procedures. Out of kindness, the dentist refuses to answer.

These are kindness too. 

 

Privacy and individuation aren't just impersonal regulations getting in the way of human connection and kindness. Respecting privacy is a kindness. Respecting consent is a kindness. Respecting people's right to make their own medical choices and control their own information is a kindness.